Leading Through Change -- When Staff and Members Leave

Notes from Dale O’Shields’ presentation: Leading Through Change -- When Staff and Members Leave

  1. Staffing is a Key Decision

  • 1 Timothy 5: “Do not lay hands on a man suddenly.” Any staff hire is a very important, sobering decision. Be slow to hire.

  • You want to hire someone who is focused on the TOWEL, not the TITLE. You are here to SERVE.



2. Have a Process in Place for Evaluating Staff and Key Volunteers

You are giving people significant responsibilities; have a system for evaluating:

  • Character — Not just about morality. Look at their work ethic, faithfulness, integrity.

  • Competency — Are they all hat, no cattle?

  • Culture — Do they fit well within your existing culture?

  • Chemistry — Likeability Factor. Do you enjoy being around this guy?

  • Calling — Look for the fingerprint of God on the hire of that person.

  • Capacity for Leadership — Can they grow with the role and the growth of the church? Can they reproduce themself and become a multiplier, not a maintainer?

 

3. Understand + Accept that some Staff + Church Members WILL have to Transition

  • Understanding this will save you a lot of heartache.

  • Think of your church like a bus with stops along the way. What happens at a bus stop? Some people get on and some people get off.

  • There will be significant transition points as your church grows.

  • When this happens, remind yourself that this is just all part of the process of church planting.

  • Don’t lose perspective. Your “loss” may actually be a huge win!

  • Some folks need to get off the bus.

  • Why do people leave your church?

    • Sometimes staff will leave you because the responsibilities have grown beyond their capacity to grow with the role.

    • They may outgrow the responsibilities. Your job is to always make sure your staff are being challenged.

    • They may lack the character / competence / chemistry required to stick with it.

    • They may not want to do the spiritual and emotional work in order to grow.

    • Unexpected circumstances arise in life. Think seasons. Life happens in seasons.

4. Remember that all Staff and Members need to be held loosely.

  • Anything you hold tightly you suffocate.

 

5. Promotions to key leadership roles should be carefully considered through prayer.

  • Faithful in the little before being faithful with much.

  • Make sure they have been tested.

  • This doesn’t always work: people fool you. Potential staff will lie to you to get a job.

  • Be very careful in giving out titles… You can’t take it back.

  • It doesn’t feed your ego, it fits your function.

 

6. Celebrate the Stays and Positively Release the Gos.

  • For some churches the only time the Staff has a party is when someone leaves. When is the last time you had a party with the people who STAY?

  • Sometimes God calls you to go but often God calls you to STAY!

  • Sometimes someone goes and it’s a good thing. Sometimes someone goes and it’s painful. Sometimes people go when they shouldn’t and you can see the truck that’s about to hit them, but they won’t listen to you.

 

7. Be prepared for + positively process the emotions that will accompany the exit of people.

  • Loss leads to Grief, which can confuse people. Be prepared for the grief. You love the person, you’ve invested in them for years.

  • When you feel grief, don’t beat yourself up about it. Allow yourself to experience and feel.

 

8. Give clear guidelines to departing staff on YOUR expectations regarding communication.

  • Information Void can crank up a church gossip grapevine: “What’s happening behind the scenes?”

  • This happens when there is too much of time that passes between their decision and the communication.

  • It is foolish to allow departing staff to announce their departure.

  • Provide information to fill any potential void. SOMEBODY is going to tell ‘the story.’ You need to protect the health of your church as it continues moving forward.

 

9. Expect emotional responses to any staff member’s departure.

  • Help them process, give them assurance.

 

10. Learn lessons from departures that can make you and your organization better.

  • How can we improve for next time?

  • What can I learn from this?

  • How can this make me better?

 

11. Avoid Prolonged Departures.

  • When someone says they want to leave, let them.

  • Don’t drag it out or they will drag people down with them.

  • When they say they want to leave, their heart has already left.

  • Be generous in their transition.

 

12. Be appropriately generous toward departing people who leave well.

  • Err on the side of grace, not pettiness.

  • Oftentimes people who leave will talk badly about you behind your back. Be gracious.

 

13. Expect a Honeymoon Period on Social Media at the Departing Person’s New Place.

  • “This new place is amazing!” Which means your place wasn’t.

  • At some point real life will kick in and they’ll stop.

  • Weather their honeymoon. You don’t need it in your spirit.

  • If it’s getting to you, delete the app.

  • Social media can feed a failure mentality.

 

14. Don’t Get Discouraged.

  • Don’t Think You’re the Only Person This Happens To.

  • This is the secret: don’t get discouraged. Fight it.

  • People WILL leave your church.

  • Staff members WILL betray you.

  • Don’t give air to fear.

  • Pruning leads to better fruit and a better future.

  • Get up and keep going by faith.

  • Sometimes you have to wait 11 years to see someone who left in a bad way come back in repentance.

 

WISDOM for DEPARTING STAFF

  1. If you’re leaving a church, get planted somewhere. Don’t wander.

  2. When you get planted somewhere, be a son or daughter of that House.

  3. Be an honorable, loyal, ethical, trusting Christian. Integrity matters. Honor your former pastor. Don’t go bush-league.

  4. If you’re leaving a church, do not play the “God told me” game.

  5. Don’t run from your issues! Your next church won’t change things. Geography doesn’t fix your problems.

  6. Remember whose spiritual platform you have been using and you have been benefiting from. You were LOANED a platform. Never take the power and trust.

  7. Never steal sheep.

  8. Never steal staff. That is unethical behavior.

  9. Fulfill your commitments. Don’t cut and run. That only hurts God’s people.

  10. Leave your assigned area of responsibility stronger, not weaker.

  11. Encourage commitment and faithfulness to the House that you’re leaving.

  12. Watch your words, non-verbals and your actions on the way out…
    because God is.

Guest Post: Josh Howerton on Sermon Plagiarism

Editor’s Note: Before coming to Lakepointe Church, Josh Howerton was the Senior Pastor of The Bridge Church in Nashville, TN for 10 years. After graduating from Union University with a degree in Theological Studies, he attended Southern Seminary. Josh is married to Jana, who he met on a blind date, and together they have three children – Eliana, Felicity Hope, and Hudson. Josh’s life passion is to make disciples, train church leaders, and plant churches. You can follow Josh on Twitter @HowertonJosh.


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Josh Howerton on Sermon Plagiarism (Random Thoughts)

Ok, I’ll bite on being the dissenter in the “sermon plagiarism” convo. Will probably get canceled and have to mute this in 3, 2, 1…

Because they have a heart to help, almost every pastor tells other pastors to use anything from his sermons that’ll help them.

“If my bullet fits in your gun, shoot it!”: I’ve heard Adrian Rodgers, JD Greear, Craig Groeschel, Chris Hodges, Bob Russell, Rick Warren, etc all say this.

A church-sermon is not an academia-dissertation or a book/journalism-publication. We’re not preaching to make ourselves look good, sound smart, or sell something proprietary.

We’re preaching for life-change and to grow the kingdom.

“BUT THAT'S STEALING!”

If I gave them permission to use anything from my notes that would help them, that’s not stealing. It is stealing in book, journalism, and academic publication, because those things are zero-sum situations whose goal is revenue...

Author X says something in a book, that's the only place you can get that info, and is selling that book for income. So if Author Y also says it, that takes away Author X’s books sales and income. There's no permission, it's zero-sum, and for-profit.

Sermons are different...

Church planter X using my sermons A) has my permission, B) it diminishes me in no way, and C) actually serves to advance my original purpose in writing the sermon – to help people and grow the kingdom.

“BUT THAT'S LYING!

They’re passing off your information as if it’s their own.”

To this I say “lol” and "haha"

Guys, stop and think for a sec...

Pastors are TEACHERS.

In school 0% of people assume everything their teacher says is their teacher's 100% original thought and they didn’t get it from anywhere else. In fact, teachers are GIVEN lesson plans and and TOLD to use them as starting points of presentation.

Nobody hears a teacher finish teaching a lesson and says, “Step down IMMEDIATELY bc you didn’t cite the lesson plan you got that from!” Nobody hears a grammar teacher say, “I before E except after C” and says, “Fire him, he didn’t attribute!”...

No one sees a physics teacher do an experiment & calls for his dismissal b/c he didn’t mention where he first saw that object lesson. Why?

When teachers teach, ppl assume they’re pulling from whatever research / info sources they can to best help the students, which is the goal.

Because “there’s nothing new under the sun” and we’ve all been preaching the same Bible for 2000 yrs, it is a given that pastors draw from one another - illustrations, points, sayings, structure, etc - whatever BEST HELPS the people they’re teaching.

“BUT PASTORS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING THEIR OWN WORD FROM GOD FOR THEIR CHURCH!”

They are! That happens through the research process, not apart from it. Just like in commentaries, books, lectures, and articles, sometimes I’ll hear something in a sermon and think, “Yeah, that’s a word for our church right now,” think the Spirit wants me to deliver it, and I’ll use an illustration or a way of explaining a passage.

That is a "a word in season" that happened through research, not individual inspiration.

Not gonna go here, but if you REALLY wanna get salty, know who didn’t always cite sources? Bible writers. Gospel writers & others borrow liberally from the OT, sometimes citing, often just saying w/o citing bc in preaching what really matters is that ppl are helped w/ the truth.

All that to say, in the words of Pastor James Merritt: “If someone borrows liberally from one of my sermons and somebody gets saved because of it, I have an investment in it gladly.”


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MY FATHER’S DAY PRAYER

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“Righteousness guards the man of integrity.” (Proverbs 13:6, NIV)

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“Righteousness is like a shield of protection, guarding those who keep their integrity.” (Proverbs 13:6, TPT)

My greatest prayer for my children — beyond them discovering a saving knowledge and true faith in Jesus Christ — is that they would grow to become men and women brimming with honor and integrity.

The pathway to integrity begins at home and extends through the local church. This past year, the Lord has graciously allowed Amber Herron and I opportunities to suffer well in front of our children and model taking the high road (1 Peter 1:2).

What can feel like an extended season of burdens and curses to Amber and I is in reality a God-ordained blessing for the sanctification of our children, primarily our older three.

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Jesus taught us to bless those who curse you and love your enemies.

Not *like* your enemies; *love* your enemies.

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While turning the other cheek doesn’t feel good in my flesh, it honors God and inspires people to be walking in the Spirit.

That’s my heart for my children this Father’s Day: that God’s grace would continue to be poured out upon Team Herron, enabling us to continue taking the harder and nobler path of integrity and honor.

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Jesus never fought back. Christ didn’t curse those who hurt Him or withdraw from those who misunderstood Him; Jesus literally *prayed for* His accusers.

Integrity teaches us that your greatest display of strength is in holding your tongue and not fighting back.

By God’s enduring grace, I pray I can be that kind of man for my family.

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Be Brave Enough to Suck at Something New

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‘Wisdom comes to the heart that is hungry for God.’ (A.W. Tozer)

Whenever I feel discouraged and want to quit something, I remember the words of my then 3-year-old after she puked carrots all over the living room floor: “I’m gonna need more carrots.”


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‘As a leader, you will have to make decisions that those whom you lead and even spectators won’t understand for years.’ (Dr. Eric Mason)

Leaders are targets for the Enemy. If you’re leading out front, then of course you’re going to be on the receiving end of fiery darts. Expect it.

Misunderstandings and miscommunications will happen.

You cannot control other people’s perceptions. You can only control your own actions and reactions.

Be careful with what you hear about someone. You might be hearing it from the problem.

As soon as we step into condemnation instead of conversation, we can no longer see that person clearly.


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‘A perverse man sows strife and a whisperer separates the best of friends.’ (Proverbs 16:28)

People don’e own you when they hurt you. They own you when your entire life is defined by that hurt.

If you’ve been burned, heal. If someone has an issue with you and they’re telling everyone except you, they don’t have a real issue with you. They just enjoy the attention they get from talking about you.


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‘Love God and He will enable you to love others even when they disappoint you.’ (Francine Rivers)

The only way to handle ‘prodigals’ is to let them go, give them to God, and pray for their return with tears. And when you see them on the horizon with their head hung low, wrap your arms around them and welcome them home.

We are all rough drafts of the person we are becoming.

Don’t be afraid to start over. It’s a chance to build something better this time!

Sure, the winds feel strong and your team is small. Stand firm. If you set your anchor, you won’t drift.

How Conan O'Brien Dealt with Jay Leno

“I just want to say to the kids out there watching:

You can do anything you want in life.

Unless Jay Leno wants to do it too.”

- Conan O'Brien


Conan O'Brien was hurt by Jay Leno in 2010. He had been contractually guaranteed the prestigious hosting duties of NBC’s The Tonight Show six years earlier and within a matter of months of taking on the new gig, he was Leno’d.

Anytime Conan is asked to look back and talk about that painful experience, he adheres to a simple principle: Don't throw the past under the bus, even when you have been Leno'd.

Conan doesn’t throw the past under the bus. Even when David Letterman was publicly sniffing for dirty laundry to air on his program (that's what gossips do), Conan did not dishonor NBC.

Leaders don't throw the past under the bus, even when they're Leno'd.

There is no honor in tearing down people and organizations . . . especially in church world.

Jesus purchased the church with His blood. That's HUGE!

God loves the church, created the church, and declares the church to be Christ's bride.

Have you ever talked smack about another man's wife? Imagine doing that to Jesus Christ.

If a church has hurt you in the past, that does not give you the right to muddy its name. If a church leader has disappointed you in the past, they are not your enemy (see Ephesians 6:12!).

Forgive and let go. The church's role is NOT to dig up dirt on people but to wipe the dirt off people and launch them into their destiny.

Leaders understand that integrity is doing the right thing even when it hurts. Trust me, I've been unjustly hurt many times during my years of ministry. But I've found that God is honored most when we talk smack the least.

If you're a leader who has walked through the fire, allow Isaac's experience in Genesis 26 to be your model.

Isaac was misunderstood, dishonored, and shunned over and over again. But he doesn't fight back. He submits to the Lord's will and finds closure in a beautiful display of the gospel:

“Isaac asked them, ‘Why have you come to me, since you were hostile to me and sent me away?’ They answered, ‘We saw clearly that the Lord was with you; so we said, ‘There ought to be a sworn agreement between us’—between us and you . . . And now you are blessed by the Lord.’ ”

(Excerpt from Holy Shift: Laugh Your Mass Off & Reach More People Far From God by Jonathan Herron)

AWKWARD PHONE CALLS & GOD'S LOVE

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‘And God has made all things new, and reconciled us to Himself...'

(2 Corinthians 5:18-20)


I love people.

I believe every person matters.

That's why I do what I do.

And I wish I was a perfect pastor and leader.

But I'm not.

I continually fail.

Expectations sometimes aren't met.

I drop the ball.

Miscommunications happen.

And I always feel horrible when I screw up.

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If I had a time machine, there are so many do-overs I'd love to change.

Rewinding my mistakes haunts me sometimes.

Yet the past is the past -- I can't change it.

All I can do is move forward and make changes.

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One change I'm trying to grow in is apologizing when I mess up.

I made this change 8 months ago.

It's not fun.

Never easy.

And yet forgiveness releases pain and opens the door to reconciliation.

 

 

So last Fall I started doing something new.

Anytime I hear of someone from the past who posts online about maybe feeling a little hurt or experiencing a twinge of pain caused by me... I pick up the phone and call them.

If they won’t answer, I try texting and emailing them.

It's awkward, I won't lie.

Asking for forgiveness is extremely humbling and I feel like I'm fumbling forward through these phone conversations and voice mails.

But here's what I'm learning: grace is messy.

Love requires action.

And not long ago, I got to have an AMAZING conversation with someone from the past... and see how God is restoring things for a new future!

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Paul writes that 'God has entrusted to us the ministry of opening the door of reconciliation.'

So that's what I'm trying to do in my own life and leadership.

I may not always be successful and the conversations may feel awkward, but they are always honest and sincere.

Opening doors.

That's what I'm gonna keep trying to do.

And maybe, in the days ahead, we can all experience a little bit more of God's love.